“Often, when a student begins having trouble learning, the parents and the teachers tend to respond as if he’s doing it on purpose. In other words, they assume that negative intentions are behind this. Sometimes they accuse the student of “being lazy”, “lacking motivation”, or “not caring”. As they use these labels, they assume that something is wrong with the student.
To defend himself and his self-esteem, the student will either fight or withdraw in whatever way he finds. As this labeling continues, the fight over the student’s self esteem becomes the focus of attention, taking the place of the real issue: the learning problems. When parents and teachers look for positive intentions in the student’s behavior, he is more open to the real problem, and is willing to look for a solution. The parent or teacher becomes an ally instead of being an enemy. Sometimes it is hard to find the positive intention, as it is buried deep inside”.