I would like to begin this letter by describing briefly what my life looked like before meeting you. My home was a classic case of a “broken home”. I grew up secular. My father was an alcoholic, my mother was emotionally absent and I was a middle child of four. Growing up I lacked a fundamental foundation for a successful future. I craved love and went through desperate measures to get it. I lacked strong self-esteem since the little girl inside of me was sure that if I was really worthy of love, my father would have chosen me over his alcohol. With time the pain developed into anxiety which made my functioning as a successful adult even more challenging. As time went on, Baruch Hashem, I found my way to yiddishkeit, became more observant, got married and had three beautiful children.
However, with all the good in my life, the little girl inside of me was still screaming and starving for everything never had. I realized that although therapy played a significant role in my life there was something still very stuck and lacking. I ignored this void and thought that it would go away.
I reached out to Dr. Spetter when I saw my son, who was five at the time, become increasingly shy and develop anxiety in other areas. Within just a week of working with Dr. Spetter I saw unbelievable and visible changes in my son. I was finally learning who my son really is and what he’s capable of.
The work didn’t end there. Dr. Spetter said that children are deeply in tune with their parents and that it is crucial to work on my own anxieties as well. I was afraid to enter the dark voids that had been locked away such a long time, but after seeing so much success with my son I mustered up the courage to give it a try.
After about three sessions something began to shift; it was like finally seeing a light. In a span of just a few months I was engaging with the little girl inside of me. I finally gave her the safe space to feel loved and free. I gave her the time and patience she so badly needed.
TAT was a lifesaver; everything began to lift – my childhood traumas, my fears and worries, my negative beliefs about myself. I was even able to finally let go of my anxiety medication and become free of all crutches.
Just as I was getting back on my feet, my father suddenly passed away at the age of fifty-six. To say it was a painful experience was an understatement. I really thought that I would not be able to get through that phase in my life but Dr. Spetter believed it was right to continue working and so I followed his lead. To my great disbelief, I connected with my father in ways I was unable to even when he was alive. Day after day, week after week, I felt that the burden and mourning were being lifted. Until this day I speak to my father and have fond memories to hold onto, and thank Dr. Spetter for rekindling this connection.
To say thank you doesn’t do justice. You not only gave me back my life but an even better one and instilled in me joy and simchat chaim that I thought I would never be able to have. I am a new wife and my communication with my husband has changed. I understand him since I also now understand myself. I see that a lot the struggle in our marriage was because I demanded he give me what I needed to give myself. Since that is now fulfilled I relate to him in a better way.
I know that because I catered to the little girl inside of me and her needs I therefore feel less triggered by the things around me. I used to be anxious and easily overwhelmed. Today I feel more at ease and in control of any anxious feelings. I feel that although the reality in front of me is the same, my perspective and emotions have completely transformed for the good. I wake up in the morning looking forward to tackling the day and enjoying my family rather than be in constant defense and overwhelmed at what lies ahead. I stopped worrying about what the future holds and learned to be present with the now and today. I have meaningful moments and enjoy the small things in life. I feel I can relate to my children better since I have related to my own inner child. I understand myself and them better and therefore feel like a strong and empowered mother.
My self-esteem has also improved greatly because I was able to tackle the voices in my head telling me I was not enough. TAT allows you to go into your thoughts in a powerful way and listen to those voices, giving them the space they want and then finally letting them go.
Life is not the same it as it was. I love myself and know that I have a purpose in this world. That discovery on its own gives me enough to live a fuller and happier life.
The work you have done has really given me a second chance and I have such tremendous hakarat hatov for everything you do. Hashem should bless you and your family for all of the good you share.
Thank you thank you thank you.
“Not a day passed in which I didn’t see in my mind’s eye the terrible experiences of physical and mental abuse I experienced. During my last NLP treatment this simply disappeared, and I am able now to live a normal life.
There is a well-know saying of our sages, “G-d provides the solution before the problem”, and I have merited seeing the truth in this with my own eyes. G-d has provided the world with TAT through R. Eliezer, who has helped and saved many people, including my husband and myself.
There are no words to describe our appreciation to you for all your hours and efforts, which saved our lives and our souls.
After the horrible and appalling trauma that continued for 13 years, in which a family member abused me in unspeakable ways. After my marriage, thank G-d, my eyes were opened, and I understood the truth about these unspeakable things that had been withheld from me for 13 years. At that moment a darkness fell upon me, and I felt that I couldn’t continue living after having experienced such physical and emotional traumas, and which are prohibited by the Torah.
G-d, in His infinite mercy and kindness, did not abandon me and I wandered from counselor to counselor and from therapist to therapist, but everything remained the same. I reached despair and total depression but G-d had pity on me, and made me aware of a special therapist, a humble and unassuming person, who lives in pure faith that he is a tool of the Almighty’s, put in this world to help and heal souls among the people of Israel. R. Eliezer Spetter, recommended by worthy and G-d-fearing rabbis, does wonders in healing body and soul for any Jew who needs him.
When I first came to Eliezer I was weak and despairing, full of anger and a desire to take revenge on my whole family. I lived every moment with intense and terrible feelings, together with the bitter traumas that never left me. I very much wanted to become free of the past, of everything in every sense, and to begin life anew. With G-d’s help, R. Eliezer was able to provide solace. It’s unbelievable, but today, thank G-d, after a year of therapy, I live my life in equanimity and self-confidence, strong and independent, empowered, forgiving of the past. Thank G-d, I strive only to move forward in the total belief that everything that happened was decreed by heaven, and that G-d will give me strength to continue doing holy work to His satisfaction in every way. Therefore, Eliezer, you have been a good servant of G-d, saving me in body and soul and for future generations; all the mental, physical and emotional changes I underwent throughout the year of therapy have affected not only me and my husband, but all those around me.
My energy has been changed, and a new life has unfolded before me – it seems like a miracle from above! Therefore I warmly recommend R. Eliezer, who is a worthy messenger from G-d, who aids all in need of help and healing of the soul, which in turn heals the body. With G-d’s help, you can also achieve a new and improved life in every sense, and thus serve Him and do His work whole-heartedly.
Those who seek treatment should not forget that they must be fully committed and desirous of change, and should not be afraid of changing.
Eliezer, it is said that if one saves one person it is as if one saved the entire world. With a heart overflowing with appreciation and many thanks, and blessings that your work bears fruit and brings satisfaction to our Father in heaven, and that G-d’s grace be with you always. The ___ Family
I was born in a haredi environment, and consider myself as a haredi person. I married a haredi woman from a Chasidic family. Immediately after the wedding, I felt that she was not interested in me. She did everything she was supposed to do, but only technically. Her tone of voice when talking to me was quite sharp while mine was very soft. I felt that she was spoiling the code of conduct suitable for a Jewish home – both spiritually and materially, and she wouldn’t even let me express myself and say what I think. Anything I said she would rebut or say, “That’s not normal”. I would plead with her: “Before you decide something, please ask what I think first.” But she would laugh at me, “Are you a baby or something?” or “If you think differently, so tell me and argue with me, and if you have nothing to say, so then I’m right. Any time you don’t say otherwise, I’ll do as I wish.” I felt that if I did try to say something, it caused a whole argument so it was better to keep my mouth closed. In short, I began to feel that she had no faith in me and that she didn’t love me. My self-confidence was completely destroyed, she made all of the halachic decisions, and when I would begin to say something at the Shabbes table, she would interrupt and finish what I was saying (usually not what I had intended to say…). She did not understand physical relations at all; she couldn’t have anyone stand or sit too close… and certainly nothing beyond that.
I began to feel that I had been swindled. I tried to find more strength through my [religious] beliefs, but it was as though I was some kind of lustful brute and that everything was my fault, which led me to live with self-accusations and to work against myself. Inside, I was angry with her. I am embarrassed to admit it, but in truth I would sometimes secretly pray that she would die, G-d forbid. I couldn’t see a way out.
After a few years, the secret began to come out through jokes with my friends about women in general and in particular about my wife. I went to therapists who told me that they had never met such a tough case. At first she refused to go – until the therapist prepared me and I was ready to leave her. Then she absolutely had to go for treatment. Over the next two years, we learned how to communicate better, to make ourselves clear and to speak respectfully to each other. We learned various tactics for use during crises, and our physical relationship improved. But the thoughts that I had been swindled and that she didn’t love me continued – it was even worse than before since it was all very finely veiled, and not emphasized as it had been in the past. My close friends who knew and who heard what was happening, those who heard how she would talk to me on the phone in her harsh, loud voice would laugh with me on her account. They made me feel that they would not put up with such a woman. This all added fat to the fire secretly burning in me, and I would cry internally about my circumstances – and I was generally depressed.
The whole time I was searching for techniques and books that could perhaps help me get out this state of affairs or for someone who could perhaps understand me. We went to all kinds of therapists and learned something from each of them. When we would go to a new therapist, my wife would start to talk, and then the therapist would complain about the things that I had done. I would feel as though a knife was being twisted in my guts. I tried to show how much I was suffering, and if I had failed in something, so what? I became the victim, and the more I suffered, all the better for me. This was the best way I found that I could deal with the affair (but on the other hand, I had no rest from it).
Providence led me. It is written in Psalms 37, 23″מה’ מצעדי גבר ודרכו יחפץ” – Hashem plans a man’s actions and he delights in his way. I wanted to learn a certain technique from Eliezer Spetter and I made a course of appointments with him to coincide with a two-week visit to Jerusalem – two meetings a day to learn a certain technique. When I told him a little about what I was suffering from, he changed our plans and did TAT with me instead.
That was in 2005. I had been married for more than twelve years. Over those two weeks, we had eighteen meetings. What can I say? They changed my whole life from stern to stern. I have to admit that while we were doing it, I was very skeptic. I felt as though he was playing with my real feelings, but when he said that it was all over, that it was finished and that I was cured, I looked at him as though he was out of his mind. What did he mean that it’s all over, etc? In the course of the meetings, we also discussed why I needed therapy – since it was she who needed it. She was the one who needs to change. What will change if I leave the pain and the sorrow behind? And the list continued, all different kinds of thoughts and feelings. But since all the meetings had been planned in advance, I allowed myself to go the full course. Inside, I laughed, but Eliezer, innocently continued without changing a thing.
After I had returned home, I thought to myself, “Nu, another kind of therapy”. I considered it all nonsense. My condition was too bad for anything to have any real effect. I returned to my wife, and to my great surprise, I regarded her quite positively. I laughed to myself, “Who are you kidding?”. Yet I couldn’t deny the fact that I began to life this positive approach. A few weeks later I found myself living in a different reality, something had turned around and I was able to put up with her. When my friends made jokes about her it really hurt. I did not know what to say to them, but I couldn’t bear them putting her down.
A few weeks passed, and wonder of wonders, she started to compromise, without my asking her to. It was like magic. I am a very practical person, and I thought, “Ah, you’re imagining things”, but it was so powerful that I couldn’t deny it. Most important, I “felt” respect and love for her, and that she returned them!!! I can truly admit that since then we may have had harsh words but no more than once or twice, and certainly not the way we had in the past. We both knew how to prevent that. “מה אשיב לה’ כל תגמולוהי עלי” – How can I repay the Lord for all of his goodness to me? Any you, Rav Eliezer were the emissary to implement it. “People of good merit, merit good deeds.” May G-d give you the merit of being the emissary to help many more people who are in need of healing.
With great esteem,